Just Because You Can...

First of all, Happy Father's Day to all dads out there!!! <3

There's been something bugging me for the last few days, and the more I mull it over, the more it just boggles my mind. Actually, there are two things, but they kind of go together...to me, at least. Wednesday night (or was it Thursday?) I was all cozied up on the couch, watching So You Think You Can Dance?, which I had DVR'd so I could skip all those annoying commercials. My DVR has two fast forward features--you can either skip minute-long segments at a time, or do a steady fast forward--either way you will see bits and pieces of the aforementioned advertisements, but not nearly as much as you would otherwise be forced to endure.

As I'm flipping, a commercial for a new reality show catches my attention. It's called More to Love, coming in July from Fox. The premise is similar to The Bachelor--a group of women will compete for one guy. The catch--this group of women, who are being advertised by Fox as "average," is in reality made up of "confident and secure plus sized women." The trailer features a young woman talking about her clothing size, in tears because she always claimed to be an 18, but was in reality a 20. I'm thinking, "Ok, this is going to be something like The Biggest Loser (a show that I have a whole host of separate issues with), which is kind of stupid but whatever." Ooooh....was I wrong. So wrong.

The commercial goes on to show a group of women lined up against a wall in their Sunday best, available for perusal by the "average guy with a big waist and an even bigger heart." (Can you tell I've been to the official show website and am completely amused by the pathetic attempts to make this show sound like legitimate entertainment? I digress.) Are you freaking SERIOUS? Just looking at the women, it's very plain to see that the producers of the show went out of their way, not to find "average" women, but to find to find plus-sized women, which completely puts the lie to their claim that "love comes in all shapes and sizes." If that were true, then there would be women of ALL SHAPES AND SIZES. Don't get me wrong--I think that the stupid Rock of Millionaire Bachelorette Joe the Plumber Love shows are ridiculous, because let's face it, most women aren't a supermodel/waitress/stripper/"actress," but please, someone, tell me how this is any better. How is this not an extension of our childlike tendency to make fun kids on the playground? Or, even worse, our teenage propensity for completely ostracizing kids who don't "fit the mold." How is this show any more than an excuse to single out bigger women as, well, bigger women? Why does that have to be the single defining factor that makes them a worthwhile companion for the "husky hunk"? And Fox can call it an "inspirational dating competition" all it wants, but every single line in the promotional material on the show's website is rife with little puns and witticisms about size. And the name? More to Love? Could it BE any more offensive? I can just see my husband saying something like, "No honey, you don't look fat, there's just more of you to love!"...shortly before his untimely demise. Seriously? WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA??????

Which brings me, in a somewhat roundabout way, to the second thing that's bugging me. A few weeks ago, my husband, bless his heart, was out mowing the yard, when he hit our main water line. With his lawnmower. 1-inch PVC pipe vs. John Deere mower-tractor thing...who wins? You be the judge. So he's been trying to MacGuyver it with some spit, duct tape, and a Swiss Army knife, in the hopes that we don't have to call a plumber, to no avail thus far--but again, I digress. This afternoon we went to Lowe's to get something or other to further the repair efforts, and as I was leaving the parking lot I was visually assaulted by a young woman leaving the nearby Chuck E. Cheese's. Now, as I recently shared my somewhat traumatizing revelations from stepping on the scale at the gym, you are well aware that I am in no position to judge anyone on her size, weight, body type, etc. What I will judge on, however, is what she chooses to do with it. There is NO reason on the face of this planet for anyone who weighs more than Twiggy to wear a kelly green Spandex tube top in public. Just...no. I tried to think of a reason. I've been trying to think of a reason all day, and it's eluded me. Maybe she doesn't have a lot of money, maybe she just had a baby, maybe...maybe a lot of things. No excuse. I'm sure this girl just wanted to enjoy a perfectly normal afternoon at the arcade with her little sister/niece/daughter, and I'm sure she doesn't want/need/care about a perfect stranger's unsolicited opinion on her fashion choices but seriously. Just because you can fit into that top doesn't mean you should.

Again...I had a baby less than a year ago and I have had a VERY hard time adjusting to my "mommy" body. The biggest problem I've had is that I want to dress myself the way I used to, which doesn't always work anymore. I can't dress like I did when I was 16. I'm just not built the same way anymore. It means that I might have to wear a t-shirt when I would have worn a tank top, but for the sake of common decency, I'll make the sacrifice. I don't want to show my extra off, and I sure don't assume that anyone else wants to look at it!

And that, my friends (like my little nod to John McCain there?), is the underlying problem here. We no longer have a sense of modestly, of personal decency. Really, why is it necessary to have an entire television series where several women (or men) compete against one another for a man (or woman)? Do they not realize that he's dating/kissing/getting busy with like, 20 other women? How is this the basis for a relationship? Why do we feel the need to over share SO completely that we have to chronicle every detail of our lives for the world to see? (Yes, I do realize the irony in my observations here, as I am currently chronicling my thoughts for the world to read.) The problem is that people eat it up. Whether they are truly interested or just want to see the train wreck as it happens, millions of people tune in every single week to see who gets voted off. I'll admit that I'm guilty--I've already admitted to watching So You Think You Can Dance? and I am more than a little fanatical about American Idol, but that's where I have to get off the reality TV bandwagon. There has to be a line--the talent shows are cheesy, but ultimately pretty harmless. Some of the others, though...they really send a dangerous message. My husband always says that reality TV (ok, he's really talking about American Idol) is a sign of how morally bankrupt we are, that we call people embarrassing themselves on national television "entertainment." Usually I laugh at him and tell him to quit being so boring, but sometimes (and he'll only know I said this if he reads my blog--ha ha) I'm beginning to wonder if he's not just a little right. I don't know that I'd go so far as to say that we as a society are morally bankrupt, but I do think that we stepped over the common decency line a LONG time ago, and I'm afraid there's no going back.

On that note, it's late and I'm going to bed. I'm sure I could go on about the subject at rather much more length, but I'll spare you--this time.