Goodbyes

For Stephanie

A very good friend of mine lost her mother this morning to cancer. Stephanie is one of my oldest friends, my college roommate, has been with me through some of the best and very worst times in my life. She is one of the very few people in this world who knows almost everything there is to know about me. In high school, we were in and out of each other's homes so much that our parents took on kind of a universal "Mom-ness"...and though time and distance have taken us each on our own paths, I feel as though a part of me is gone as well.

Mama Byrd was diagnosed with cancer earlier this year, and Stephanie has been steadfastly caring for her mother for these last several months. I'll admit that I was surprised when I heard the news this morning; I truly didn't realize that her health had deteriorated that far. Part of me wants to be happy that she no longer feels pain, she is at peace...but that's such a cliche, and it does nothing to ease the pain of those who are still here. The larger part of me understands that her daughter will now shoulder the burden of grief, in addition to the many others she carries. Though I've known Stephanie for a very long, I've been amazed at the strength and grace with which she's handled mother's illness--I don't know that I could do the same in her situation.

There's nothing I can say. I wish there was. Everything sounds so trite. The only thing I can think to do is to grieve for my friend, and with her.