Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Mad World

Wendesdays are so awkward. They're too late in the week to complain about the weekend being over, but too early in the week to start anticipating the weekend to come. I often find myself floundering on Wednesdays, like a ship with no wind in its sails.

I woke up at 6 this morning. To any normal non-masochist, that might seem early, but it's actually the time I need to be leaving the house, not getting out of bed. Somehow I made it to work (mostly) on time. I missed formation, but them's the breaks.

I'm still not sure about this Summerlin thing. I wonder if I'm doing a good job with this new group. Everything at Summerlin is so different than what I'm used to. One of the arguments Brian always used to make was that I should teach there because in addition to my challenging the students, the students would challenge me. I laughingly told him that I wasn't sure I wanted to teach students who might be smarter than me...but I'm not really laughing now. I feel like I don't know what I'm doing, like I'm a really bad teacher and I could get away with that before because none of the students knew any better, but here I'm going to be revealed as a fraud. Intellectually, I know that's not true, but still....I worry. Sometimes I think I'm a much better teacher in theory than I am in practice.

It makes me tired.

So I'm going to bed.

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